1.
WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps
it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland CA spent two hours attempting
to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten
tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them
in the police line shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up!"
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to
have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different
automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money
from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka KS Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash
drawer. Apparently the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and
worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed
him.
5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a
robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When
detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all
your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I
said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant, and her
contractions are only two minutes apart." "Is this her first
child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted,
"This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto CA, Steven Richard King
was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon.
King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun.
Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellooooooo!)
8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!
Last summer down on Lake Isabella, located in the high
desert an hour east of Bakersfield CA, some folks new to
boating were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every
maneuver no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying
to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be
able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed
everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive
went up and down, and
the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So one of the marina guys jumped
in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing
so hard.
(NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.)
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place ... was the trailer!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
This entry reminded me of two incidents that happened in my hometown when I worked my first job at a camera shop. The bank next door to us was robbed twice in the 3 years I worked there. On the first occasion, the robber came in as the first snow of the year was falling. Turned out he lived in the apartment complex behind the bank. The cops literally followed his footprints right to his front door.
The second robber used a note that said, "Give me all of your money, I have a gun." The teller gave him the money and after he left and the police arrived and looked at the note, they discovered he had written the note on the back of his phone bill.
These are hysterical!!!
Lisa
Post a Comment