The
Ancestry.co.uk website is a great aid for researching your family tree.
When you have entered an ancestor's details, it sometimes gives you
hints that they may have a record on file of a similar person. 99% of
the time it is no match, but a few useful ones have cropped up. One is
absolutely hilarious - the person who set up the tree below has not
read the screen. I am omitting the names for reasons of privacy, and to
spare one poor soul's blushes.
Ancestor: Born in 1857, died in 1924
Father: Born in 1901
Mother: Born in 1691
Spouses:
I 1901-1977
II 1881-1976
III 1893-1972
IV - 1924
V ??
VI 1897-1976
VII ??
VIII 1856-
IX ??
X ??
Sunday, 2 December 2007
Weekend assignment
Weekend assignment #180 by John M. Scalzi - I'm not a regular follower, but this appealed to me.
Go to this bumpersticker generator and make a bumpersticker. Then post it in our journal. Here is mine.
Go to this bumpersticker generator and make a bumpersticker. Then post it in our journal. Here is mine.
Ground Control and Pilots...
Actual exchanges between pilots and control towers
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
***
Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
***
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long take off queue "I'm f...ing bored!" Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!" Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
***
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747:
"United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."
***
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for take off."
***
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able , take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the light and return to the airport."
***
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."
***
One day the e pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."
***
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206 .
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206, taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The 747 pulled on to the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, eight times in 1944, but it was dark-- and I didn't land."
***
While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!" Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that , US Air 2771?"
"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking "Wasn't I married to you once? "
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
***
Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
***
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long take off queue "I'm f...ing bored!" Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!" Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
***
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747:
"United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."
***
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for take off."
***
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able , take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the light and return to the airport."
***
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."
***
One day the e pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."
***
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206 .
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206, taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The 747 pulled on to the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, eight times in 1944, but it was dark-- and I didn't land."
***
While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!" Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that , US Air 2771?"
"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking "Wasn't I married to you once? "
How do you beat negativity
This is something to think about when negative people are doing their
best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time
someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: "Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!" "Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha' doing when you get there?"
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser, "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome "It was wonderful!" exclaimed the woman, "Not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful. And I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their "owner's suite at no extra charge!"
Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook myhand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say?"
He said, "Where'd you get the shitty haircut?"
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: "Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!" "Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha' doing when you get there?"
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser, "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome "It was wonderful!" exclaimed the woman, "Not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful. And I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their "owner's suite at no extra charge!"
Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook myhand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say?"
He said, "Where'd you get the shitty haircut?"
Spicy Chinese proverbs
*
"Virginity like bubble. . . One prick - all gone!"
* "Man who run in front of car get tired"
* "Man who run behind car get exhausted"
* "Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day"
* "Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."
* "Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok"
* "Man with one chopstick go hungry."
* "Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails."
* "Man who eat many prunes get good run for money."
* "Baseball is wrong. . . Man with four balls cannot walk!"
* "Panties not best thing on earth. . . but next to it."
* "War doesn't determine who's right . . . War determines who's left."
* "Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house."
* "Man who sleep in cat house by day . . . sleep in doghouse by night."
* "Man who fight with wife all day . . . get no piece at night!"
* "Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!"
* "It takes many nails to build crib . . . but one screw to fill it."
* "Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!"
* "Man who sit on tack get point!"
* "Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"
* "Man who lives in glass house should change in basement!"
* "He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs."
* "Man who farts in church sits in own pew."
* "Man who jumps from tall building, jumps to conclusion."
* "Crowded elevator smells different to midget."
* "Man who run in front of car get tired"
* "Man who run behind car get exhausted"
* "Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day"
* "Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."
* "Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok"
* "Man with one chopstick go hungry."
* "Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails."
* "Man who eat many prunes get good run for money."
* "Baseball is wrong. . . Man with four balls cannot walk!"
* "Panties not best thing on earth. . . but next to it."
* "War doesn't determine who's right . . . War determines who's left."
* "Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house."
* "Man who sleep in cat house by day . . . sleep in doghouse by night."
* "Man who fight with wife all day . . . get no piece at night!"
* "Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!"
* "It takes many nails to build crib . . . but one screw to fill it."
* "Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!"
* "Man who sit on tack get point!"
* "Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"
* "Man who lives in glass house should change in basement!"
* "He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs."
* "Man who farts in church sits in own pew."
* "Man who jumps from tall building, jumps to conclusion."
* "Crowded elevator smells different to midget."
Roast chicken
Here
is a chicken recipe that also includes the use
of
popcorn as a
stuffing - imagine that!
When I
found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people
like
me, who
are just never sure how to tell when poultry
is thoroughly cooked, but not dried
out.
Give
this a try.
BAKED
STUFFED CHICKEN
6-7 lb. baking
chicken
1 cup melted
butter
1 cup
stuffing
1 cup uncooked popcorn
Salt/pepper
to taste
______________________________
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well
with
melted butter, salt, and
pepper. Fill cavity with
stuffing
and popcorn (mixed together). Place in baking pan with the
neck end toward the back of the oven. Listen for
the
popping
sounds.
When the chicken's
arse blows the oven door open and
the chicken flies across the room, it is
done.
And you thought I couldn't cook.
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