Funerals

with thanks to Dawn [adlessor] for this and the previous funny.

The Minister and the Funeral

 

 As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside
 service for a homeless man, with no family or friends. The funeral was to
 be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the
 first to be laid to rest there.

 

 As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost; and being a
 typical man, did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late.
 I saw the backhoe and the crew, who were eating lunch, but the hearse was
 nowhere in sight.I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped
 to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place.
 I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, but this was the
 proper thing to do.

 

 The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart
 and soul. As I preached the workers began to say "Amen", "Praise the Lord",
 and "Glory!" I preached and preached, like I'd never preached before: from
 Genesis all the way to Revelations.  I closed the lengthy service with a
 prayer and walked to my car.

 

 As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the
 workers saying to another, "I ain't never seen anything like that before
 and I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years."

 

 Author Unknown