Temperature warning

40 degrees- Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Scotland sunbathe.

35 degrees- Italian cars won't start. People in Scotland drive with the windows down.

20 degrees- Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.

15 degrees- Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Scotland go swimming.

Zero degrees- New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Scotland have the last bbq before it gets cold.

20 degrees below zero- Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Scotland think about a light jacket.

80 degrees below zero- Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic Scottish Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

100 degrees below zero- Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Scotland throw on their Big jumpers.

173 degrees below zero- Ethyl alcohol freezes.. People in Scotland get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.

460 degrees below zero- ALL atomic motion stops. People in Scotland start saying "chilly, you cald an aw?"

500 degrees below zero- Hell freezes over. Scottish people think about supporting England in World Cup!!!!